I hope to hold a discussion or musings on Technology, Culture, Politics and Religion topics close to my heart with a little of the Personal. I hope to get some followers if not I am not disappointed, the digital record will hold.
Change my job. I do not need to leave my present place of employment but I need to do better at my present job and transition to something new that engages me more seriously, that I can be enthused about and of course if possible let me earn more moolah.
Well the HR department and my Boss at RJR Communications Group did the prescient thing and relieved me of my post; not just me but 30 others. My true friends have expressed concern and offered support. At least I am not a deadman walking as I was previous time I was made redundant although that was of my own choice. So I have been asked what I am going to do? I genuinely see this as an opportunity to force my hand and get my life turned around, So am all about rainbows and ponies.
You're not your job. You're not how much money you have in the bank. You're not the car you drive. You're not the contents of your wallet. You're not your fucking khakis. You're the all-singing, all-dancing crap of the world. (Tyler Durden, fight club.)
In geometry, a decagon is any polygon with ten sides and ten angles, and usually refers to a regular decagon, having all sides of equal length and each internal angle equal to 144°.
Primed:
Ten years ago I was student at New York University starting the second year of my Masters in Computer Science. Tuesday, September 11th 2001 was a great sunny late summer morning. School had started already and I was due to head downtown to be in the computer labs but like any normal guy in his 20's I was more interested in talking with my Girlfriend and sleeping in. So when the first plane struck the twin towers I was not too perturbed.
The previous week:
Ok not the previous week but 3 weeks before someone Parachuted onto the statue of Liberty so I thought a small plane like a Cessena might have flown into the tower or something on the order of a stunt gone wrong. It is new york city, people are always doing stuff like being stuck in a tree in central park serenading their lover.
In the moment
I turn on NY1 then onto CNN. Call my girl when I realise it was not a small plane we talk, transfixed by the fire of a moment then to more mundane stuff that I do not even recall. I hang up, the second plane strikes while I am watching it live on TV. The horror, not the heart-of-darkness-apocalypse-now Horror or Vincent Price horror. This is horror that strikes you dumb in shock not knowing what to do; not knowing what people are capable of; seeing bodies fly from the buildings; frozen waiting in anticipation. I call my ex all I can say is "This is deliberate. I can't believe it " I say that over and over. Try to call Jamaica so my mother knows I am ok but all the lines are busy. Call my ex (she is in canada) tell her to call Jamaica; she does and then calls back; We talk of rumours there is a plane over Detroit no one knows what it will do; Ten planes unaccounted for; we then see what has happen at the Pentagon and then eventually United 93.
I started school the previous year, just before the general elections in the united states i was always a politics junkie. I express no shame in watching C-Span. Bill Clinton, president 43 was the best natural politician I ever saw. George Bush, "George-Bush-We-have-to-make-the-pie-higher" and Al Gore "Lockbox" both were less than inspiring. In fact George Bush was primarily known in my mind before September 11th as a near-do-well-scion of Connecticut Blue Bloods; a fake cowboy always on vacation who liked Arsenic in the water. However, in the moments after the attacks he was missing in action. If you poll New Yorkers I am sure most well agree with me; it was 2 or 3 days after the attacks we had the bull horn in the rubble moment "we can hear you." For three days he was hiding on air force one not because of security concerns but because for the first time in his life he had to be self-reflective and fake Texas bravado did not have the answers. No gentleman's C here for you Georgie. Our only glimpse of him was my-pet-goat-deer-in-the-headlights-oh-gosh-that-memo-bin-laden-determined-to-strike-in-the-usa-maybe-i-should-have-read-that-on-vacaation-rather-than-fake-clearing-brush-to-prove-i-am-a-man-of-the-people-on-my-1500-acre-dude-ranch. We needed Michael Corelone and we got Fredo instead.
Eventhough, later on some serious mistakes were made under his watch were discovered (like firefighters and police not able to speak with each other and attempted scuttling of an electoral process) Rudy Gulliani shone. He was inspiring, led, and was the mayor for the world.
The towers came down North, South and Number Seven I do not need well actually can't explain the moment:
This was the point at which numbness became being shell shocked. For three days I did not leave the apartment; The bridges and tunnels opened on the weekend. we had to get out of the City.
So my aunt, cousin, her kids and husband went apple picking, and I joined. On a side note picking raspberries can be hell so respect due to those who do the hard work of harvesting.
How do we handle such an event?
There is no general answer. That day Sting had a concert that was to be streamed after much debate with his band this haunting rendition of "Fragile" was done and then nothing else for broadcast:
The strange thing obviously you do not want to be maudlin about the event but people just did not know how to react so even the purveyors of cultural currency were largely absent. There was a lack of bravery, and when they expressed themselves they were hounded. From the extreme left we had Ward Churchill saying those in the WTC were "Little Eichmanns"; People of the right saying "they hate us for our freedoms"; and the sane where Bill Maher said the hijackers were many things but not Cowards. All were trying to own the narrative of 9/11 not realising it was not one to be owned by one set of people. It is to be owned by every one.
My professor who taught Computational Biology tried for a bad joke that the start sequence for any DNA was ATTA cf. Mohammed Atta operational leader of the 9/11 conspiracy. My co-worker, refused to be at work because the world was coming to the end; and after a week I joined battled harden NYCers in moving on with life. A year later I watch a movie the 25th Hour which spoke to me in atmosphere of the amputated limb of NYC. The buildings gone, civil rights abridged, wars, uncertainty and knowledge in an intimate way that there are people with nihilistic rage of hatred that will stop at nothing to destroy for a 7/8th Century of Religious hegemony that has no possibility of ever returning.
Below is a film clip from a movie the 25th hour where 2 friends are talking about the demise of close buddy "Monty"of theirs about to sent to Prison for 7 years feeling to sense of lost and anger mirrored in the cavity that was ground zero after the attacks. The Parallels in Spike Lee's non-subtle way hits you over the head.
Monty delivers a love note New York that exemplifies the righteous despair we (including me) felt.
Aftermath
I went through my own depressive mania. No, 9-11 did not cause it; I had issues from long before but it did contribute. The feeling all is beyond control that you can't trust yourself, your memory, your emotions or have confidence in what you can do. The emptiness when there is a call for blood donations down at Saint Vincent and no one to donate blood to, because every one above certain floors in the towers had died. The grief passing the fire stations and memorials. On a trip to see me in MAY 2002 my girlfriend passed a make shift remembrance wall at a fire station and I saw it affected her so much my heart swelled with emotion. I kept control because you have to do that when everyday you come out of the subway looking for landmarks not there. Without control, and reticence, we would be or at least I would be lost. So I thought looking back I was wrong to keep things bottled up but that is another story.
Ten years, two wars, hundreds of thousands dead, civil rights under threat, black sites, torture, liberation, renewal, unity no matter how brief, paranoia, hope and awareness of the world our legacy from 9/11. I *heart* NYC and try to understand my fellow man. I will never forget that day, the smoke from the fires that burnt for months on end, the kindness of strangers, my weird co-worker who was taken in by friends and family after her Water Street pad was caked by dust from WTC. The heroes: cops, firefighters, construction workers, diner owner and servers, the businesses that staid in lower Manhattan and all NYCers who are braving a new world. I and the rest of the world celebrate who you are an example of what we can be with enough effort.
Calling myself an Iconoclast is a bit of stretch. I should really call the blog "Gamil has point of view more important than yours" but that is all self serving and a major turn off. However, I do want to have writings on various topics in a free form way and maybe even invite others to post as well. I am (We are) covering Technology/Culture/Politics and Religion. I can't promise to be civil but i'll try. As for others if and when they post here they will be civil within reason such is the power of being an editor. There is no such thing as bad language except that which cannot be understood but there are bad ideas and bad people.
To start us off i am reproducing a couple postings I have on my own personal blog. Covering 9/11 and some recent changes in my employment situation. I hope you enjoy.
